Editor’s Note: I saw this post on DumpDC.com and I thought it was brilliant, so I am cross-posting it here:
by Daniel Miller, Texas Nationalist Movement
This is the “question of the day” today. Actually, for me, this has been the question of the day, every day, for 14 years. You see, I get it. Sort of. Well, not really.
See my problem here?
I seem to experience waves of frustration watching the people of Texas dealing with the Federal Government. Personally, I made my conclusion a long time ago that Texas needed to secede and become an independent nation. I also know that many others have arrived at that conclusion as well.
For the 14 years since I arrived at that conclusion I have watched the people of Texas shoved around by a Federal Government drunk on power. They go through a succession of governmental functionaries from one of the two major parties only to wind up with more government, less freedom and more abuse. Unfortunately for me, although I know the truth and what the solution is, the rest of the people of Texas have not reached the mental and emotional place of safety where I reside.
This leaves me to watch the abuses pile up without the proper response. To get an idea of my daily anguish, let’s paint a mental picture together. Imagine for a moment that you are part of a large family. You and your siblings are sitting in the living room of the house and your Mother’s current husband, someone who is not your Father, comes in and begins to beat the crap out of your Mother. Your sister starts to cry so he turns his attention to her and starts beating her. Your brother tries to shield your sister and he gets smacked a few times. You speak up and try to shield them all and get
pummeled more than all of them put together. After he beats you, thankfully, he takes the money that you all have been saving from the cookie jar, jumps in his car and heads off to the local watering hole to blow all of the money on booze and other women. Imagine that this happens every day.
I want you to really burn that image in your mind.
Now, imagine that after all of this repeated abuse you go to your Mother and ask her to leave this bastard who is destroying your family. You want her to leave this scum that is slowly killing her, the rest of your siblings and you, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You want to be saved. You want her to be saved. You want your brothers and sisters to be saved. You want this abuse to end. And it can all end by one decision made by her. You’ve had this conversation with her every time this happens. And each time she and most of your siblings, to your horror, cry or get angry and advocate for HIM.
“He’s just having a hard time right now.”
“He only does it because we don’t act right.”
“He makes all the money. We would be broke if we left.”
“I promised until death do us part.”
“He’s starting to make the changes that I’ve asked.”
Days go by. Weeks go by. Years go by. It occasionally will get better for a short time. But he always returns back to the same old thing and no one leaves.
Let all of that sink in and burn into your brain.
Now you know how I feel.
I recognized the abuse a long time ago. It wasn’t until 14 years ago that I realized that I had the power to stop it. But I am still frustrated. My head tells me that I should have some peace since I know the answer.
However, my heart is screaming because I watch my Mother, my brothers and my sisters abused daily. Their indecision causes me to wind up on the receiving end of that abuse because I am morally obligated to stand up for them.
I want to know when they are going to stand up for me. When? When I’m dead? When we’re all dead? Then no one will need to stand up for anyone else.
Call me a tortured soul if you wish. At least I’ve been trying to put my finger on what in the hell is wrong with most of you. And I think I may have found my answer.
I started to research what causes people to repeatedly suffer at the hands of abusers and refuse to leave the situation. I found that it is called “Battered Women Syndrome” and it fits more than any explanation I have ever seen.
Abused spouses go through four phases while in an abusive relationship. They are: denial, guilt, enlightenment and responsibility.
Denial is marked by the refusal to admit that there is even a problem. Abusive incidents will be explained to others as “accidents”. Excuses are made for each incident and each time the abused firmly believes it will never happen again.
Guilt is the one that puzzles me the most. The abused takes responsibility for the abuse. The abused feels that they deserve to be beaten because they have defects in their own character and they aren’t living up to the abusers expectations.
Enlightenment is the revelation that the abuse is not an accident or aberration and that it is not the fault of the abused. But the newly enlightened abused believes that the abuser can somehow be “fixed”. The abused is still committed to the relationship and stays with the abuser hoping they can work things out.
Responsibility is when the abused decides that the abuser will not stop, they can’t be fixed, it’s the abusers fault and the abused decided to start a new life free of abuse.
I recognized that I am in the “responsibility” phase. At this moment I knew why I was so frustrated. I knew that until Texas and most of my brothers and sisters got to this phase then I would continue in my frustration.
Frustrating as it may be, I now do only what I know to do.
I plead one more time with my Mother, my brothers and sister. We are abused. It is not our fault. The Federal Government will not change. It will make promises that it will not keep. If it ever stops abusing us, the break will be brief and it will not last. While we have been faithful to the Constitutional marriage of which we are part, it has not. Mother, your children in the Texas Nationalist Movement have stood up for you. Brothers and sisters of Texas, the Texas Nationalist Movement, your blood, your siblings have stood up for you. We have told you that it is time to make a new life. We will survive this but only if we leave.
Mother, brothers, sisters, let us start this new life now. One free of abuse. We can make it together but first we have to make the decision. If not, then I will continue to ask you “what in the hell is wrong with you?”
Daniel Miller is President of the Texas Nationalist Movement.